As I sat and listened to Dave Ramsey with hundreds of couples around me I again felt like a fish out of water. I know there were people there that were single even people that have dealt with the loss of a spouse. However you see the people in the crowd that have what you don't have, they become more prominent to you. I have begun to look at the world through this filter that I never had before, a filter of loss/what is missing in my life. Yes when I was single before marriage I looked at married people with a longing, however this is different. I am looking at those that have their spouse with a longing for what I had not what I wish to have. Our relationship was so strong in 2 years that if you just saw us together for the first time many would think we had been married for 15-20 years. We went through enough struggles to last 15-20 years and that is what drew us closer to each other. Through our struggles, when so many marriages fail, we became closer to each other and to the LORD. I know that is rare these days and my heart is grateful to have had it, even for only 2 years. Yet at the same time my heart is sad to not have it for 50 more years with Jimmy.
Then as Dave went on about paying off your debt, which was one of the struggles that Jimmy and I dealt with in our marriage, I started to think about my life now. Due to my husband's wisdom I am now able to pay off the debt that had once been a struggle in our relationship. Wow, I can be debt free in the very near future however....it was NOT free. Me being able to pay off this debt came a very high cost. A cost that I never thought I would have to pay this early in life...the life of my husband. How can I pay off this debt and not think that it is was paid with such a high cost? I would take the debt times 100 if it meant that I had my wonderful husband back. I would work every day of my life to pay it off if it meant Jimmy and I could have the next 50 years together as we planned.
I started thinking about my relationship with Christ...
Then the disciples of John came to him, saying, "Why do we and the Pharisees fast, but your disciples do not fast?" And Jesus said to them, "Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast.
~Matthew 9:14-15
If the Church is the bride of Christ should we not mourn the fact that He is not here on Earth with us as much as we would mourn the loss of our spouse? When we look at the crucifixion of Christ we tend to distance ourselves from the actual even and not think about the fact that it was because of our sins that He is on the cross in the first place. I have eternal life but it was NOT free! It came at a very high cost. A cost that we cannot even imagine...the death of our Savior, our bridegroom, our King, our mediator. Yes it was our Father's will for Him to die in place of us for our sins. WOW, do we really get that? This is such a high cost that sometimes we don't really think about it, or don't really like to think about it. So my sins (debts) have been paid for by the life of the One True Lamb. Do we long to see Him in heaven as much as we long to see our loved ones? We should long to see Him!! He gave His life and made it possible that you can even see that loved one again...He gave His life so that we no longer have a separation from God.
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins.
~Romans 3:23-25
There is not one person out there that can say they have never sinned, we are told that ALL have sinned, that we ALL fall short of God's glory. Jesus had to die for our sins to be forgiven and God the Father & God the Son both loved us so much that this was the plan. I am amazed at how much I am loved by God!! Does that not amaze you? If Jesus had chosen not to give His life for us then we would be living by the law and would still be sacrificing animals for our sins. We would not have the assurance that we WILL see our loved ones (that believed in Christ as their savior) again in heaven. The longing to see Jesus is becoming stronger and stronger and the longing to see Jimmy is just staying the same. I want to see the one that gave His life for mine, that made it possible to see my husband again! Jesus IS the name above ALL names!!!
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