Thursday, September 20, 2012

Some Realizations...

First you find out who really cares about you when you say you are moving. Some people want to see me then others would be ok if I had moved yesterday. When I turned in my resignation at work they told me that they would pay through the end of the month when I said I would work until but that I did not need to come back in to work. Therefore Monday was my last day working, there have only been a few people get in contact with me from work.

It will be good to see who my real friends are through this move. There is no need for me to continue to keep people in my life that don't really care about me. It will be good to start this new chapter in my life with those people who truly want the best for me.

The next thing I noticed is that my appetite is back!! To be honest I had not realized that I did not really have any appetite until it came back this week. As I think back it has been since Jimmy passed away that I have not had my "real" appetite. I didn't care about what food I ate or if I even ate at all. Since I have been off of work I have been hungry nonstop & I actually know what food I want to eat!!

I am thankful that I now have an appetite because it was a struggle to eat when I had no idea what I wanted to eat. Yesterday I had red beans and rice and it tasted great!! I made French toast this morning for breakfast and also had cereal for a snack. I am looking forward to cooking again and eating as well. It is so awesome to feel somewhat "normal" again.

Yesterday I set a goal for myself to do something creative. I didn't want to set a goal something specific just that I do something. So I started crocheting a scarf for myself. It has been so long since I needed a scarf so the thought it would be fun to make one for this year. Of course it is purple! I picked out this yarn awhile ago and it is 4 shades of purple...I love it! I am going to see if I can also teach myself how to make a hat so I can have a hat to match.

I really  hope this is the start of me being creative again for good. I have missed being creative so much and it is so nice to do something creative now. I am also enjoying actually knowing what I want to eat and having the desire to cook. I am so thankful to the LORD for helping me to find a "new normal"!!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Update on my life...

            I thought it was time to give you each an update on what is going on in my life. Since the beginning of the year I have felt like the Lord has been guiding me on a path out of Texas. When I moved here over 3 years ago I never wanted to stay. I only stayed after Jimmy went to be with Jesus because I did not want to make a huge decision in the "thick of my grief" so to speak. So I stayed as to not make a hasty decision and found a job at a work program for intellectually disabled adults.

            I have learned so much while at this job. People who are intellectually disabled have to be some of the most accepting individuals in the world. They love me no matter what and accept me even on my bad days. They are some of the most loving and positive people I have ever met. They have taught me that my circumstances should never get me down, that I should always give people the benefit of the doubt and to love no matter what! They really are so amazing!!

            The people I serve in this job are amazing however the staff I work with are nothing like the clients. Due to the work environment that has been getting worse since April I find myself in a position where I can no longer accept the way they treat the staff and the clients. So I will no longer be working there as of the end of the month. Praise God for Him making this clear to me.

            Also in April there was a huge change in my life, I met a wonderful man online (yes online again)! He is also a widower, lives near Nashville TN, retired from the military, loves the Lord far more than anyone else and his name is Joel. We were talking for 5 months before I went to meet him in person and we both knew right away that this was the start of something special.

            I will be moving to Tennessee November 1st or 2nd (had to be flexible for the moving company)! For those of you that don't know Jimmy and I had planned on settling in Tennessee due to the fact that it was in between our parents. I feel as though the Lord was preparing me for this even back when Jimmy and I talked about where to eventually move and settle.

            Joel and I knew that we were compatible right away even talking on the phone. We balance each other out very well. We even feel that we are even more compatible with each other than we were with our former spouses which can only be done through the Lord! When meeting in person we each knew right away that we were meant to be together.

            I have also decided that I want to go back to school to peruse a master's in Social Work to then later get licensed to be a therapist. I know that the Lord has brought me through so much in my life and it will be used for His purpose and His glory! I am still deciding if I want to be a counselor in a school or for the military, so please pray for the Lord's direction in this area in my life.

            For those of you that are in Texas I would love to meet up with you before I leave the area. I will try to set up a time for me to meet up with many of you at once before I leave. As for those of you in Pittsburgh my plan is to visit for Christmas!

Prayer requests:

Direction in our relationship

Direction as to when to look for a job and when to start classes for my masters

Peace and safety in the move

My continued reliance on the Lord

Selling Jimmy's car (this will help pay for the move)