Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The Empty Chair

The Empty Chair

Time cannot heal the emptiness

 Or fill the empty chair

 The one that’s in the family room

 I see it empty there.

Or the chair that’s at the table

 Where together we would dine

 Although I sit there still,

 The only hands that pray are mine.

Still I give thanks to God each day

 I pray this prayer comes true.

 You save an empty chair for me,

 When I come home to you.

I found a framed picture with this poem on it and had to leave the store I was crying so much. I went back with a coupon (for those of you that know me you are saying of course she went back with a coupon :) and bought this framed poem. Anyone who has come to my house since Jimmy passed away you have been told not to sit in 2 different chairs in my house. The chair in the family room and the one at the table where we ate so many meals together. I am the only one that has sat in either of "his" chairs since he passed away. I feel just a little bit closer to him when I sit where he sat so many times before. Seeing these empty chairs is yet another reminder that he is not going to come back. I will never hear his car door close and him come into the house and tell me he loves me, or ask about my day or kiss me when he walks in.

I want people to understand that everyday there is a reminder that he is gone. When I opened the mail yesterday one of the letters said "Thank you for notifying (insert company name) of the death of Jimmy Eapen." It as if I am stabbed in the heart every time I look around at the empty chair, or read the mail, or try to pay a bill and they won't talk to me...the list goes on and on. Please understand that for the people that lose a loved one who is "too young" to die or even in a tragic way maybe even anyone who loses a loved one period they are still grieving at 3 months after, 6 months after and possibly the rest of their life here on earth! My life did not go back to "normal" 6 weeks after my husband died...and it never will because he is not here for it to be normal again. Saturday will be 3 months of me being a widow and I find it harder to make it through each day as time goes on. I am so thankful that I do not have to go to work yet...however sometimes I feel like it might make my day go by just a little bit faster. Please keep praying for me, pray for peace, for direction in my next step in life, for understanding, for me to know the next step that the LORD has for me. Thank you all for your prayers and support, it is very much needed at this  very hard time in my life.

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