I have come to this realization over the past week, so many people in America really do not mean the vows that they say to their spouse. When I said my vows to Jimmy I meant every word of them. Our marriage was until death parted us, I would not have divorced him for any reason because that is what God asks of me.
This is what I said to Jimmy on our wedding day...
I, Lisa, Commit all that I am to you, Jimmy, to be one with you in marriage. By God’s spirit I promise to love you as Jesus loves His church; with all my heart, and to be true and faithful, patient, kind and unselfish. I promise to stand beside you always, in times of joy and in times of sorrow. I also promise to follow you as you submit to Jesus Christ as the head of our lives: out of respect, love, honor, and trust. I will serve you in sickness and in health by showing you respect and love in the ways you should be respected and need to be loved. I dedicate our marriage, our family and our home to the lordship of Jesus Christ and promote your usefulness to God. I pledge myself and all that I am to you in love.
I am glad that the pastor did not leave anything out...respect, love, honor, trust but most of all being unselfish. I told Jimmy on our wedding day that I would serve him in sickness and in health...those are very powerful words. These days you see spouses leave their so called loved one due to the fact that they have become sick...I ask is this love in the first place?
At my work place there are men and women there that have gone through some sort of accident or health issues that has caused them to be labeled handicap or intellectually disabled. While I don't know all the numbers of those that were married and now are not it makes me sick that anyone would leave their so called loved one just because they are now sick. Do not get me wrong there are spouses that have stayed by their loved one's side and I commend them for that.
As I talked to someone about this my eyes filled up with tears as I said "I would give anything to have Jimmy back in that state". I do understand that this is a selfish statement but it is the truth. Due to the amount of time that Jimmy was without adequate oxygen if the doctors were able to bring him back it is more than likely that he would have been intellectually disabled. I would deal with that because I loved him with all that I am...unselfishly.
However, I know that Jimmy is far better off where he is. It is just very hard to be the one left behind to grieve the loss. I know that he is exploring everything that he can in Heaven, and listening to every word our LORD has to say. He is soaking it all in because that is who he is. Every time he hears something it is as if it is the first time because he wants to learn something new, that is who my husband is. I am thankful that he is in Heaven and not only do I get to see him again but I also know now that he is in 100% health and he is in the presence of Jesus...how amazing is that? So as much as I love him and would have served him in sickness I am glad that he is not sick anymore and that he can see our Savior face to face.