Every other month as the 15th was
approaching I would become more depressed and anxious. This month I was not
nearly as depressed or anxious. So I thought that today would not be that bad
however it was a very stressful day. On the bright side today was not all about
me thinking about not having Jimmy with me.
I am thankful that my mind was
not focused on what I have lost that is a huge blessing!! I do miss Jimmy very much but I find myself
not really focusing on that as much anymore. I am happy that Jimmy is in a better
place, that he has no pain, that he can eat whatever he wants, he can sing at
the top of his lungs...and so on. He is so happy that I can't even imagine how
happy he is.
I have learned so much about
myself in the past 13 months. I am much stronger than I thought I was but only
through the strength of Christ! I am the type of person that likes things to be
easy, normally when things are not easy I run the other way. I don't like to
not be in control, it causes a lot of anxiety for me when I don't know what
comes next. It is hard for me to trust anything without knowing the plan and
also accepting the plan.
{ Things I need to work on }
Trust -- on God and
authority
Staying when things are
not as I planned
Letting go of my plan
Leaning on God for my
strength
{ Please join me in praying for
God to help me in all of these areas. }
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